The Negotiators - Page 57

C2 Proficiency · Gapped Text · Ready for C2 Proficiency Student's Book, Macmillan

You are going to read an article about a negotiator. Seven paragraphs have been removed from the text. Choose from the paragraphs A–H the one which fits each gap (1–7). There is one extra paragraph which you do not need to use.

In order to achieve these two objectives, communication and listening skills are required. Non-judgemental open-ended questions and statements that ascertain the state of mind of the other person can be the best friend of this kind of interaction. Statements like 'Tell me how that happened' are far more effective than anything more direct and confrontational which can enflame the ire of the other party.

This indicates that a positive attitudinal outlook may well be more effective in achieving an expected outcome than treating other participants in a more cold, robotic manner. The emotionally intelligent may even have the upper hand over the intellectually intelligent in terms of these kinds of scenarios, as they have the ability to sit back, identify their and others' emotions, how it affects thinking and how this can be managed.

Coping with any kind of confrontation in general can be quite a difficult scenario. Be it a criminal in negotiation with the police, or a businessman negotiating a deal, often there can be mixed feelings of vulnerability and fear of being tricked or taken advantage of. Perhaps this is why initial impressions can count for so much, to allay these worries.

Only after all of these strategies have been deployed effectively can any influence be exerted over the decision-making. This part of negotiation is usually what most people jump to first, ignoring all the effort to get the other party on side, yet initiating solutions and agreements is far easier to do, and more successful, when it's negotiated between two collaborators rather than adversaries.

This is simply because people are usually far too concerned with putting their own opinion across, and showing they are right, to really negotiate effectively with their counterpart. This not only puts the back up of the other party, but it also fails to identify common ground or a third or middle way, which then can ultimately lead to a better solution for all.

Naturally, the kinds of individuals who negotiate these sorts of transactions need to have a very particular skill set. Usually former police and military, they must have the ability to remain completely unnerved during highly stressful circumstances, and to understand and identify with what many people might consider the unidentifiable.

But this wasn't always the case. Until recently, emotion was viewed as something that impedes negotiation, with business experts advising people to leave their feelings at the door and focus on the problem rather than the personalities in the room. Yet there is increasing evidence of the flaws in this thinking as more emotionally based insights are coming to the fore.

The lesson here may seem obvious; that when confronted with a dilemma that seems unsolvable, rather than go in all guns blazing arguing for your position, it's better to step back and look at it from all perspectives to try and find the way forward. While this might be something the average person on the street may struggle with, in many settings this is the first step to tip the scales of success in negotiations.

Our everyday lives are punctuated by different types of negotiations, whether discussing divisions of labour within the home, asking for a raise at work or even complaining about bad service. Therefore, it is surprising how unskilled the average human is at undertaking these kinds of negotiations, with results which can vary from having requests fall on deaf ears to inciting a full-blown row.

This is illustrated by a story from the Middle East, in which three sons are left camels in their father's will. The eldest son is left half of the camels, the middle son one-third, and the youngest, one-ninth. Yet with 17 camels, they were unable to divide them. After much quarrelling, they went to see an old wise man, who listened carefully and then gave them his own camel. The eldest then took half of the 18 camels – nine – the second then took six camels – his third – and the youngest then took two camels – his ninth. And the wise man? Well, he took his left-over camel back!

Without question, the most important negotiations of all happen in life-or-death situations, like kidnappings or hostage crises, and the procedures for dealing with these situations have been carefully refined. The Behavioural Change Stairway Model (BCSM) is a negotiation strategy developed by the FBI to communicate with dangerous criminals in these kinds of situations.

Their approach is underpinned by the belief that, in order to gain influence over somebody, both understanding the emotional thinking of the other person, and creating some form of empathy is essential, winning out over logical reasoning every time in such situations. This doesn't mean agreeing with the other party's feelings, but certainly acknowledging and understanding them.

In addition to this, simply mirroring the final few words of what they have said, or giving a comment that's either positive or neutral, can show that the other party's perspective is recognised and valued. This could be something as simple as 'You seem quite upset. I can see how you feel.' When these statements are followed by a pause, it also gives the other party time to open up further regarding their internal motivations and limits.

It would be logical to think that due to the success of these kinds of methods, and statistics show they do work, they would be expanded into other arenas, and this is indeed the case. When we look to the business world, we can see how emotional connection plays a key role in all sectors where there is any form of decision-making or negotiation.

In fact, one study found that the success of a negotiation could be predicted just within the first few minutes of interaction, not by measuring what was said, but by looking at volume, pitch, pace of speech and body language as well as cardiogram readouts to show the physical reaction of participants. Where they were more aligned and balanced, there was a better outcome.

While it's not always easy to take a step back and just listen and absorb what is happening, all the evidence suggests that it might well lead to the best outcome. Perhaps next time you want something from your partner, or boss at work, the best approach may be to diffuse any tension, acknowledge your and their concerns, and get their angle, before coming in with your own.

Available as a free printable PDF worksheet with an optional answer key.

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